“ A Secret ” – I’ve to die with

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                                                a Moroccan Secret Box

A Secret ” 

– I’ve to die with –

I’ve had secrets

Rates not to keep,

Some by the by

Merits not a peep,

And one or two

Made me so blue

I’d given a bye…


But I’ve a secret

Shades my life,

Tho cannot share

Or fail to keep,

Thus held to bear

Finds futile weep,

Without concede

While I’m awake

Or in my sleep…


‘Tis a secret

That won’t heed,

And so remains

Despite I plead,

Be of a memory

Begs god-speed,

Hence to forego

Yet I find realize,

Fixed be of a kind

One can’t be freed,

Held thus a secret

That I’ve to die with!


                                        written in Grasse

                                               © Jean-Jacques Fournier

8 thoughts on ““ A Secret ” – I’ve to die with

    • How sweet it is, to be told one’s effort gave enjoyment. Now the Beat Poet performance plays very close to my world and eventual involvement in poetry. Attempting to develop a way into expressing myself in the medium of the poetic language, but in my very own fashion, style or whatever would make me believe I might get anyone to listen.

      I hate to admit it but I was hearing and reading about Kerouac while he was writing his one and only so-called poem, that went on forever, on a roll of toilet paper and whatever scraps of paper he got hold of driving across the country. Everyone was going gaga over this then. Now Ginsberg or McClure they were real poets. You bring back memories dear lady… though I really did not get serious about my writing until living in California, in LA, the Lala land in the 1980s and yet did not publish until 2007, but the again,16 published books as of 2020. Thanks Liz…



      • So I wasn’t off-base with the Beat connection! It’s funny that you mention the legendary toilet paper poem. My creative writing professor in college claimed the story was wasn’t true, that it was image manipulation and self-promotion on Kerouac’s part.

      • No, you were not off base, for as I said, that era was part of my world, but up to a point as my interest in poetry, and my addictive writing, in of it in its language, and in my fashion, came quite a bit later. As to Kerouac and the toilet paper poem, those years were close enough to me to know that he didn’t need your creative writing professor’s image manipulation to gain a reputation. Hanging around with Lenny Bruce and the likes of such infamously famous characters, though more important the Alan Ginsberg variety in the Beat group gave him the of status of one of the four originators of said group. He was a poor kid (from strange wondering parents), who also became a wonderer and often lived on a wing and a prayer while discovering his world. You could say he went from toilet paper poems to scroll writing which was quite original. In this case, a picture is worth more than a few words, so give a look https://images.app.goo.gl/uYUcTnAH2D9BqCyt6

        Thanks again for your interest in my work…



      • Thank you for the additional information about Kerouac and the Beats, including the photographs. As you say, the pictures are worth more than a few words!

  1. Oh, Jean-Jacques, we have secrets that we collect over our lifetime that become part of who we are. I especially appreciated: “‘Tis a secret That won’t heed, and so remains….” And if we break down and “confess” these secrets to others, they still bedevil us. “Yet I find realize, Fixed by of a kind One can’t be freed….”

    • Interesting comment Rebecca…as to propose, breaking down and confessing, which suggests the possibility of guilt, offence, retribution or seeking forgiveness and the like. They are all valid reasons. But the secret I imagine is the study of a different kind, and quite unique affecting one strictly personal and self sustained, flashing randomly on and off on one’s mind, and meant to forever be so to their last breath. My participation is the voice of this study. Personally, I am now too far into life to have worthwhile secrets, and any I might have had were insufficiently importance for me to remember. Thanks Rebecca for expanding the issue of this poetic reflection!



      • Oh, I love the idea of the idea of remembering and forgetting, and about worthwhile secrets. I so enjoy our conversations, Jean-Jacques!

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